Butterball Horrors

I randomly ran across Butterball's House of Horrors, and I am ashamed to admit that I laughed in the beginning of the video clip. It may have been the cheesy title (Can you take the title Butterball's House of Horrors seriously?!), or the melodramatic feel of the whole thing that got me to giggling. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to dismiss PETA, or vegetarianism, or the sad treatment of these animals at all. I do happen to love eating poultry however, so I think I've reached a happy medium between abstaining completely and succumbing to Butterball.

Mike and I buy free range/organic meat whenever possible. I know it's a little more expensive, but in the long run, I feel better about eating something that has been fed well and stressed less in its life. It would be even better if we bought from some of the local farms that we visited not too long ago...but alas, it takes much more planning to do that, and what can I say? I guess we're lazy. It's no excuse. And yet, I'm using it as one.

Time to eat...

I'm not having an alien!

It's human! In fact, she's a sweet, healthy little girl who had no problems showing off during the ultrasound. She was moving around so much that the Doc had a hard time keeping up. Oh my goodness, I can't wait to meet her!

There's still the possibility of complications. Keep us in prayer please :)

I gotta get back to work...I've already spent too much time online looking at kinds of baby related things, funny how the mind gets so preoccupied.

It

I get to find out what the sex of the baby is tomorrow!!!! Excitement abounds! Now I can stop referring to my child as "it."

After all, if my baby looks anything like this guy, I'll have to be put on some kind of medication in order to be able to deal...

turning to Him

It snowed while we slept last night, and now the day is wrapped in shades of gray and a sullen sort of white. I see some neighborhood kids throwing snowballs at each other and wonder if they had a snow day today from school. I bet when they woke up this morning they were so excited. Night snow always seems a little magical, doesn't it? When you go to sleep, the picture outside your window is mostly the same as its always been, but snow transforms a landscape into a thing of wonder.

I'm in a little bit of funk today. I've been editing, which is normally tedious work, but today the tedium has an edge. Mike's out interviewing a client to ghostwrite a book about the history of college basketball in the Raleigh-Durham area, which is something I imagine he might be finding tedious as well. I'm finishing up an egg and cheese bagel I made, and Sufjan Stevens is weaving my background music today.

I'm in a funk, and I feel crummy. Stress, stress, stress can be such a distraction from what really matters. We've been attempting to start afresh as a church and pursue the Lord together wholeheartedly, enjoying Him by taking initiative to enjoy Him. I am excited about this, but with everything, I approach it tentatively, and try not to get my hopes up too much. In order to soften the sting of disappointment and failure, I end up ruining whatever excitement I might have.

Lord, as with everything else, I turn to you with a breath, heave myself into your lap, and know that you will take care of all.

on Barak, my baby, and adulthood

Some friends and I watched a documetary last night about war, or I guess more specifically, the military-industrial complex, and afterwards we talked about potential candidates for the presidency in 2008. Check out Barak! It will be exciting to see watch this race unfold.

I found all of my old journals today. I was going through my yet-to-be unpacked boxes from the move, trying to make space in our apartment for the baby, and there they were, spanning from third grade and on. Wow. I didn't look through all of them, just some from high school and early college. For the first time, maybe ever, I felt like an adult, and this realization came with a mixture of sadness. Yes, I've gone through college, gotten married, worked, and now I'm about to have my own child, but I've still always felt a little like an imposter. But as I poured my little heart out on the page, I could see all this earnestness, naivety, and innocence. I thought, when did I become cynical and when did my heart start to harden towards God and my fellow man (and woman)?

There's got to be a cure for that type of "adulthood." Maybe my own child will help show me how to have a child-like heart again.

Speaking of the little munchkin, we like the name Aria (or Arya) too. It means melody or song, and I'm trying to find a middle name that would sound nice and means something like "of God." Any ideas?

samson

So, upon Phil's suggestion, I picked up the Bible and started reading the Old Testament again. Heaven only knows when the last time was I actually sat down and read through the OT for the story of it all, and Phil is always telling me these random stories that I KNOW they skipped over in Sunday school. Looking through Judges, I found some pretty strange stuff, that I'd either completley glossed over before, or just never read.

Take for instance the story of Samson (and he's definitely not one of the stranger stories in there--I look forward to getting to those) Mr. Strength, we know. Mr. Hair, we know. Mr. Lust, we know, and Mr. Stupid (for trusting Delilah with his secret after she'd already betrayed him three times), we know. I guess I just always saw him as this big, mindless, Fabio-a-like, brute.



But how's this for ingenuity? After Samson deserts his wife (Philistine, it should be noted) for giving away a riddle, he decides that he wants her back, but she's been given to his best man. So this is how he retaliates:

And Samson went and caught three hundred foxes; and he took torches and turned the foxes tail to tail and put one torch in between every two tails. Then he set the torches on fire and sent the foxes into the Philistines' standing grain and burned up the shocks and the standing grain as well as the vineyards and the olive groves. (Judges 15:4-5 RV)

I know that this is a small detail in a much larger story, but it completely struck me that I didn't know that part of it. Samson may have been pretty hot-headed and tempestuous, and a sucker for a pretty face, but that stunt at least proves that he was creative in his revenge.

By the end of the story I got to feel pretty sorry for him. He is a slave, his eyes are gouged out, he's "entertaining" a bunch of his enemies, and he prays, once again, for vengence (which Jehovah was happy to deliver it seems). So, he gets one last, final burst of strength, and knocks the house down by its pillars, killing more Philistines with his death than he did in his lifetime. And so passes Samson, a judge of Israel for 2o years.

I think part of the reason why I feel sad for him is due to his "pawn-factor." It seems to me that Samson got a raw deal. In the beginning of the story it says, "...Jehovah was looking for an opportunity against the Philistines." (14:4) And He found that opportunity in ol' Sammy. I know that Samson was a Nazarite, called to be set apart, a special servant to God, and though he did not live in a manner worthy of his calling, God used him anyway. Isn't this what we should all wish for? To be a vessel of the Lord even when we are not "worthy"?

But let me say it again. God used him. Used him to get at the Philistines, and I feel sorry for the guy. Samson, despite some sparks of creativity he displayed, comes off as just a mindless pawn in the hands of a God who wants to get back at the enemy of His people. I know God can do whatever he wants, and that He can use whomever He wishes for whatever He wishes. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way, but generally when I think of "using" a person, it carries a negative connotation. Then again, I'm not God.

So, I guess I'm wrestling with this story some, and wondering.

It's fun, having a little impromptu Bible study. I think I'll do it some more...I'm sure we have plenty of books in our library that would jump off the shelves to give me their opinions on the matter.

no more cake

My husband ate the last of this...



And I'm very sad.
How could you deny a pregnant woman her chocolate cake?

after the holidays

Hubby and I went home to Atlanta for the holidays for about 2 weeks. Got to see a lot of friends and spent a decent amount of time with our families. It was great, but as our time has drawn to a close, and I feel exhaustion creeping up on me, I just want to get back to my own apartment, my own space, and my own time.

I gave up making New Year's resolutions a long time ago, but this year, I figure having a child is (and has) going to make me change anyway, so I might as well plot some out.

Speak up more
Quit sweatin' the small stuff (and even the not-so-small stuff)
Get more fresh air
Unpack all boxes and get as organized as possible before baby arrives
Feel free to do what I want

I know that last one probably sounds odd, but if you knew how much I repressed myself, you might tell me to do the same. Being "free-er" is a good goal I think.

I'm being pampered at a good friend's family's home tonight. His mom made me lamb chops, mashed potatoes and gravy, broccoli and cauliflower, and rolls for dinner, and all day I had the treat of being the biggest couch potato in the world. I feel like I have three mamas: my mom, mother-in-law, and Greenville mom. How vury nice.

On a less self-involved note, I think Jenny had a good post on the 4th about Saddam's execution.
I realized how much I didn't know about what was going on in the world when we picked up a recent Time magazine, and I glanced through it. I kept better in touch with everything when I was in college. So, that's another needed change:

Read/watch the news more often, keep up with current events

Did anybody else make resolutions this year? Does anybody else have any more baby names? Does anybody wanna give me a shout out? (because if I didn't get to see you over the holidays, I probably missed you)