guilty pleasures

Upon becoming a mother, it seems that I have given myself permission to indulge my guilty pleasures. I bashfully admit to repeatedly watching episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, reading In Style magazine, eating McDonald's french fries, and belting out whatever sappy, ballad-y, worthy-of-being-played-on-Delilah's station love songs while driving alone in the car with the windows down.

Don't judge me.

I admit these things to you because 1) because I am tired and don't know how to keep my mouth shut, or rather, my fingers quiet 2) because confession cleanses the soul and 3) because I'm curious to know what everybody else's little indulgences are.

Well, that's enough of that.

I haven't gotten too far in Wilber's The Marriage of Sense and Soul, primarily because it is a book that requires a concentrated burst of my attention, and that comes few and far between these days. But, I did pick up an old book of poetry I have, Animal Soul, by Bob Hicok, and fell in love with it all over again. Here are a couple of lines from the opening poem in Animal Soul, "Whither Thou Goest":

Fish can have mad cow disease and I have a problem
with that...

I'm not ashamed to admit that my prayers are no longer
unconscious but loud and practiced
to the skin of the mirror to the muse
of the cereal box to the road as I drive...
...pushing veneration through my body makes god
exist if only for a second
within the chambered nuances of breath.

Yes, I did violence to the poem by breaking up the lines and taking some out of context, but hey, I'm allowed take a knife to the meat of words every once in awhile. It's like I'm cooking you my own word-y stew (sorry Bob). Anyhow, these few lines make me smile and sigh with something like relief. Just like admitting that even after Fast Food Nation I still enjoy french fries, and that I can occasionally be one of those obnoxious people who play annoying music in the car and roll their windows down so you can hear it too.

This may be self-involved, but my life is all about finding whatever relief I can get right now.

And that would include writing this post.

So, thanks for the indulgence.

And here's my parting shot...