Tuesday, January 16, 2007

on Barak, my baby, and adulthood

Some friends and I watched a documetary last night about war, or I guess more specifically, the military-industrial complex, and afterwards we talked about potential candidates for the presidency in 2008. Check out Barak! It will be exciting to see watch this race unfold.

I found all of my old journals today. I was going through my yet-to-be unpacked boxes from the move, trying to make space in our apartment for the baby, and there they were, spanning from third grade and on. Wow. I didn't look through all of them, just some from high school and early college. For the first time, maybe ever, I felt like an adult, and this realization came with a mixture of sadness. Yes, I've gone through college, gotten married, worked, and now I'm about to have my own child, but I've still always felt a little like an imposter. But as I poured my little heart out on the page, I could see all this earnestness, naivety, and innocence. I thought, when did I become cynical and when did my heart start to harden towards God and my fellow man (and woman)?

There's got to be a cure for that type of "adulthood." Maybe my own child will help show me how to have a child-like heart again.

Speaking of the little munchkin, we like the name Aria (or Arya) too. It means melody or song, and I'm trying to find a middle name that would sound nice and means something like "of God." Any ideas?


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