Thursday, January 18, 2007

turning to Him

It snowed while we slept last night, and now the day is wrapped in shades of gray and a sullen sort of white. I see some neighborhood kids throwing snowballs at each other and wonder if they had a snow day today from school. I bet when they woke up this morning they were so excited. Night snow always seems a little magical, doesn't it? When you go to sleep, the picture outside your window is mostly the same as its always been, but snow transforms a landscape into a thing of wonder.

I'm in a little bit of funk today. I've been editing, which is normally tedious work, but today the tedium has an edge. Mike's out interviewing a client to ghostwrite a book about the history of college basketball in the Raleigh-Durham area, which is something I imagine he might be finding tedious as well. I'm finishing up an egg and cheese bagel I made, and Sufjan Stevens is weaving my background music today.

I'm in a funk, and I feel crummy. Stress, stress, stress can be such a distraction from what really matters. We've been attempting to start afresh as a church and pursue the Lord together wholeheartedly, enjoying Him by taking initiative to enjoy Him. I am excited about this, but with everything, I approach it tentatively, and try not to get my hopes up too much. In order to soften the sting of disappointment and failure, I end up ruining whatever excitement I might have.

Lord, as with everything else, I turn to you with a breath, heave myself into your lap, and know that you will take care of all.


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