just some thoughts

Sorry to subject you to poetry that would probably be best kept for my private journal...just some scribblings that help me sort through my thoughts, which lately, have been very mundane, and looked something like this:

I have a whole day before me...I could work on my novel

Eww, but there's laundry piling up to my waistline. I'm short, but that's still too high for the laundry basket.

Okay, I could work on my novel now

I guess I have to accept the fact that my husband's side of the bed might always be littered with papers, books, some dirty socks, and/or an empty cup or two.

Well, do I even have that much to say?

It's time for lunch.

Lord, you're here for this, right?

Gotta clean up the kitchen.

I wonder if I should be studying for the GRE I need to actually work on applying to the grad schools I'm interested in

Dropping ten pounds when I love ice cream and carbohydrates is next to impossible.

I hate PMS.

Dang it, I'm being such a...a...WOMAN.

Okay, here's a blank page. Start writing, one-two-three...go!

Lord?

Those hairs on the bathroom sink won't clean themselves up.

Dinnertime soon.

Aw...he offered to help do the dishes.

Maybe we'll get to bed early tonight... :)

Some of my classmates already have their Master's degrees. I've been out of school for two years now.

Lord, am I wasting my time, my talents--your gifts to me?

I like cooking a meal my husband enjoys.

Another day is almost over.

I appreciate that sunset Lord.

Thanks.

deeper still

Sand between my toes
at the water's edge
I should wade in, I know.

The water raises bumps
across my skin and I
begin to hear the call--deeper.

The waves are topped
with creamy froth
and force me to go under.

Beneath the surface
it's like a dream
and I am filled with wonder.

I glow with muted sun
light and find that
I can breathe.

So deeper still
I swim and see
that I believe

it's possible to live
in depths of
splendor and fall

in love with swimming,
and searching,
and answering the call:

Deeper still.
Further in.
There's more of him.

How to Be Good

It took me all of three days to finish Nick Hornby's novel, How to Be Good. Even though About a Boy ranks as one of my top three favorite movies, I'd never read a book by Hornby until now. It was a quick and easy read, but not without wit, humor, and depth. It raises some great questions that are especially relevant to me as I try and figure out how to not just be good, but live out the life of Christ within me.

Now, onto the next book...

missing him

My heart is crying out for something...the frustrating thing is, I just can't identify what that something might be.

I know I need the Lord. But telling myself, "I need the Lord," doesn't help me get past this feeling that I'm missing him somehow.

Maybe I just miss my brothers and sisters, maybe I need to get my pen out and start writing creatively more often, maybe I should pick up that new Ezra Pound I just bought and read some of that...

It's a disconcerting feeling, not really knowing what to do with oneself. I feel like I'm floating, skimming the surface of something I'd rather be exploring the depths of. The ocean is beautiful from the surface, but just think about what can be discovered that lay hidden beneath.

I am thirsty, and this is not a bad place to be.

I am glad the Lord is using whatever circumstances he desires to draw me closer to him. Life is good, and yet he is giving me the desire for more...more...more..of him.

another survey

Because I can't think of a post...or maybe I just don't want to share my deepest, darkest feelings on a public forum...or maybe because I just can't get enough of these things lately...who knows, but here goes...

What time did you get up this morning?
11:30. Please don't judge me. I have many (yes, legitimite) reasons for sleeping in this time.

Diamonds or Pearls?
black pearls

What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
V for Vendetta, and I really want to go see, Thank You for Smoking.

What did you have for breakfast?
A carrot my husband made me eat.

What is your middle name?
Elish. Like Alisha, except without the "uh" sound the "a" makes at the end.

What is your favorite cuisine?
I love to eat, but if I had to pick a fave, it would probably be homemade Italian.

What food do you dislike most?
Sardines. Little oily fish in a can make me want to vomit.

Your favorite potato chip?
Harvest Cheddar Sunchips. All day. Every meal. Ha.

What is your favorite type of vehicle?
Do Arabian stallions count as a vehicle? Maybe back when Ford was still in diapers.

What characteristics do you despise?
Lying. Manipulation.

What are your favorite clothes?
Okay here are my faves, in no particular order:
1. Loose, billow-y skirts or dresses
2. No clothes at all (yipee!)
3. PJs
4. jeans and a t-shirt (and a sweatshirt if it's cold out)

Favorite time of day?
Waking up to my husband. Even if we fought the night before, I still love waking up and seeing him there.

Favorite sport to watch?
Bring on the basketball or ice hockey.

What did you want to be when you were little?
I briefly considered being a football player or a jockey, but that was before I realized these were primarily male-dominated careers. But, ever since third grade I've wanted to be a writer in some form or fashion.

Nicknames?
Jazz, Jazzie, Jazzercise, DJ Jazzie Jeff, scrumbledumpkins.


Spirit Animal?
A peacock. And that better be because its a beautiful and exotic animal, NOT because its vain.

Piercings?
If I don't end up getting a normal job, or have a job that doesn't care, I'll probably get a small nose piercing

Ever been toilet papering?
Of course, isn't that a staple teenage prank? (well I guess I've done it while in my 20s too)

Favorite flower?
Gardenias. They smell wonderful.

Favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick-fil-A.

How many times did you fail your drivers test?
I never had a learner's permit, but I passed the first time I took it.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
OOOh, okay. Borders because I could buy books, movies, and music there OR Banana Republic

Bed time?
It's been between 12 and 1:30 these days.

Last person you went to dinner with?
The last person I had a meal that might've been dinner with was Mike, but the last people I most definitely went to dinner with were Jared, Leanne, and Amy (after Leanne made me cry because she and Jared were singing about balls. what kind of balls, I will leave up to your imagination)

What is your favorite color?
Purple or blue, it's a toss up.

How many tattoos do you have?
None. I can't find a symbol or picture that I'd be committed to putting on my body for the rest of my life. If I do though...we'll see.

family

I don't know if there are people on this earth that I love more than Mike's extended (and now mine too) family. I just went to the 80th birthday celebration of his great aunt, affectionately called "Dunay," and it just feels great to be in a room surrounded by sassy, fiesty Italians. They may call each other fat asses, curse you up and down in a rapid string of Italian words I shudder to tranlsate, and inform you rather forcefully that you need to finish all of the food on your plate or else, but the bond between all of them is like something I've seen in a movie ("My Big Fat Greek Wedding" comes to mind), but never actually experienced. I love being a part of them (and I think Mike's grandpa, who is also kind of "other" since he's Polish, has a soft spot for me :) With them, food, high volume, and laughs are always in abundance, and I love it.

Speaking of food in abundance, last week Jennifer, Mike, and I visited to the Open Door Community in Atlanta to help serve in their soup kitchen. I didn't realize that you could have so much fun handing out bowls of soup, baskets of bread, and pitchers of ice tea and water. The best thing about the experience was being able to give people as many bowls of soup or sandwiches, or pieces of bread that they wanted. Everyone left full (and the food was really good too!).

What strikes me about both experiences are the similarities that can be found between them. You might not expect a birthday lunch at Maggiano's to be anything like lunch with the homeless, but at the Open Door, there is that same sense of a familial, loving bond.

There will probably be more on this to come...but right now there is work piling up, and cleaning to do, and a host of other things calling me away from the computer...

(Oh yeah, since I needed yet another online distraction, I was finally persuaded to start a Myspace profile)