love questions
Why is it that loving someone is inextricably tied up with the pain they bring to you as well? Why do men think that they can always have it their way, and women think that they can change them? Is this just the nature of relationship? Why do we struggle with each other so?
posted by Jasmin @ 8:07 AM
10 Comments:
We don't always get our way. I think we try to get what we want but then our wives counter our motion at which point we moan about it making your life miserable. If you do not yield we complain more but give in. If you yield we get what we want.
By the way...
To all concerned citizens out there:
Mike and I are doing great. No worries!
Glad to hear it. If that ever changes you give us a holler and we'll come give him a what for!
Thanks Neil!
Sometimes I need all the support I can get!
That's the mystery of relationships I guess, a constant struggle back n forth of personalities. Men are a little lazy, I must admit. Women can get a little over-bearing, I can also say that. Somehow that works out.
I recently found myself asking the question 'what is a relationship?'. What's the purpose or goal of a relationship? I am still looking into the question since I haven't found a great answer yet but right now I am leaning towards 'companionship' and 'family'. It's a really weird question that is worth perusing.
Sometimes it seems like a relationship is all about the power struggle. Is it true that he/she who loves less has the most power in the relationship?
But if both parties were mutually submitting to each other in love, love wouldn't be about who has won the most power, it would be a constant losing of power and giving of grace and vulnerability.
Though it does take a lot to be able to place yourself in that posture. And then you have to banish fear that your vulnerability won't be abused...
But since God is Love, and His Love in the person of Jesus was all about losing power, then I suppose being in His company is not a bad place to be. And perfect love casts out fear...
Even with all the romance of it marriage is a lot like family in the end. Who do you love the most and get the most annoyed with of all the people in the world? Family. Of course, since marriage is a new family we get to make we we have to be careful not repeat negative patterns we learned from our own families.
But mild annoyance I think is unavoidable. You know what they say about marriage: Men come in hoping their wife will never change, and she always does. Women come in hoping their man, and he never does.
Jas I think what you said about he/she who loves the least has the most power is totally true. A true mutual losing-power relationship would be to me, heaven on earth. Wherever we can create that, or wherever we get to taste it by grace... that is awesome. It seems rare but i am holding out hope for it. And not just in the romantic committed way (though that would be the best)... but also in friendships and also in the church.
And this all has made me think... is love even love at all if it's not the losing-power type?
That's a good question Jenny.
Actually I recently read something about in any relationship, there is always one who loves more than the other. The one with the lesser love actually has the least power.
(guess it depends on your definition of power)
The one who loves the most suffers the most (as you hint at in the case of Jesus).
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