Monday, April 25, 2005

that beast nostalgia

Feeling nostalgic tonight. Missing my friends, and knowing that the missing will just get worse, because we are all scattering. Now I'm not only nostalgic, I am sad. This feeling just crept up on me. The "good old days" are gone, and now I am dealing with the ever-confusing present that can feel like walking on quicksand. I don't want to look back on memories and let them make me dissatisfied with the present. Nostalgia can be a beast.

I wonder if I will ever look back on this specific time in my life with nostalgia. Will I miss living at home, working a part-time job, and hanging out with my sister whenever I want? Yes, probably. I'll miss seeing Jenn and Michael (my Starbucks pals) all the time. They, especially Jenn, have been so loving and such a support right now. I know how much I care about people, but then when you realize that other people really care and love you too, it's almost overwhelming.

My goodness. I'm such a fuzzball. A nostalgic-beasty-fuzzball.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Moby

I saw Moby live at the Tabernacle last night, and I must say, it was quite the experience. I've never really been into Moby much before Mike met him at a signing he was doing at Criminal Records in Little Five. Mike bought his new album ("Hotel"), and I loved it. So we decided to go out on the town and catch Moby in his element.

First of all, I should probably explain something. I am used to being the one of the only black people wherever I go. For some reason, it just ends up that way. But, every once and awhile, I feel a little awkard, and going to a techno event was one of those thing I felt awkard about. So Mike tried to convince me that black people like Moby too, and to rest assured, I wouldn't be alone. We made a bet.

20 or more black people there, and I buy him dessert. 20 or less, and he buys me dessert.

People on the event staff did not count.

The Tabernacle is a pretty cool venue. I'd never been there before last night. Intimate and cozy in there. Perfect "soft-core rave" environment. And after a couple rum and cokes I was ready to forget the fact that I was, yes, 1 of 3 other black people there (Mike did end up buying me this organic, oh-so-delicious berry drink afterward that served as my dessert). I had so much fun! I told Mike it made me feel young again...and I know that sounds crazy because I'm only 23. I just meant, we've been dating for a long time, and it's easy to feel like an old married couple already. But, enjoying new things together is something that I think keeps a relationship fresh, and I really like the fact that I am comfortable enough around him to make myself a little uncomfortable again.

So anyway, Mike and I are dancing around and having a good time when these crazy rednecks decide they want to completely invade my space, which I know is bound to happen at these things, but having a drunk blonde bimbette swing her hair in my face is about where I draw the line (I was about to rip it out.) I kept elbowing her and stepping on her heels in hopes that she would take the hint, but alas, to no avail. If she hadn't been so busy grindin' all over her boyfriend she might've noticed. When the couple finally left, the cool European types who'd been standing next to me the whole time looked over at me with a smile, and one of them gave me a high five. "You wanted to kill her too, didn't you?"

All in all it was a good night. I can't comment on the music much, can't compare "Hotel" to past Moby albums, or to techno/ambient/whatever music in general because I've never listened to it until now. All I know is that there was a good beat to dance to, my car didn't get broken into like somebody else's did where we parked, and I won a bet.

Oh yeah, and Moby is a nerd. An emaciated, pale, nerd. Gotta love those types.